Today, when I walked through the gate of my building, I heard a faint voice calling me out 'saheb!'... now that's unheard of, my ears are not used to anyone calling me by that adjective... saheb? No no it can't be me, so I ignored it for a few seconds but shortly I realised there was no one else but me around there and the person calling me 'saheb' was our old watchman. Yes, he is a watchman of our building, one old fashioned watchman with a bad uniform on him. He is no security guard as they are called these days. But why is he calling me? I have never spoken to him unless one of those very rare occasions when I came back home post 12 in the midnight and I had to call out for him to open the gate.... that's the end of my conversation with him. "Saheb vees rupaye miltil?".... Can I borrow 20 rupees? He broke the suspense. 20 rupees? My initial reaction was 'what for? what do you get in 20 rupees these days?' 'NO!' I said. My reaction wasn't really a well thought through one, it was a knee jerk reaction at best. There was something that made me so damn uncomfortable at that moment, I literally ran up to my flat.
When I reached home, I felt a terrible sense of discomfort, what was I so uncomfortable about? For saying no to that man? may be, I shouldn't have said no to him. But he is the same man I gave 200 rupees without him even asking for it during Diwali. So why did I say no to 20 rupees? The very next moment I decided to undo my action. I went down. He wasn't expecting me, I thought. 'Take this'... I gave him 20 rupees. "I'll return it tomorrow" he said. Why? Please don't embarrass me further... "no need, it's okay" I said and rushed out of the gate.
What must be his reason to ask for mere 20 rupees? Deep down I started feeling the pain... but the pain wasn't mine, it was his. What a 50 year old man must be feeling when he asks for 20 rupees from a stranger like me. Now I have nothing to do with what he wants to do with that money or whether he asked for 20 rupees from other 10 people or not, the question I had in my mind was about the pride. Everyone has it except the politicians may be... so what about his? What kind of a situation prompts a person like him.. who has a job... to ask for such a small amount? It depressed me more when I started thinking about him.
Is poverty such a difficult thing to wipe out? I guess not. Then why do some have so much that they don't even know how much they have and some have none? Karma theory is the easiest way out of such tricky questions. It's their Karma. End of story. What about our Karma then? Are we doing some great deeds by ignoring poverty? Many a times I see a long queue outside a temple... especially Siddhivinayak on Tuesday. Everyone wants to be rich and famous. Nothing wrong with it but no one knows what will make them that. The SiddhiVinayak Trust which is run by some politicians is super rich for sure. During Ganpati festival crores of rupees get transacted in a small lane in Lalbaug alone, crores are spent on meaningless movies every year... how many movies in bollywood really do business? 8,9 maximum in a year? what about the rest of them? Around 300 movies per year are commercially flop, but then the same guys are making them all over again... who finances such filth and how can they finance it? Don't these super rich financiers have no business sense? Disgusting it is... but the truth is they are turning black into white by showing that as a loss. Strange but true. And what about elections which even after spending crores of public money produce no results? Every other scam you hear about is a few thousands... sometime even a few lakhs ... crores of rupees...so much money is flowing around and here I have someone asking for 20 rupees? How cruel is that? How bloody unfair?
I decided not to think that he'll use it for some wrong purpose [ again who am I to judge that anyway? ] but may be he needed it to buy a medicine for himself and that very moment my 20 rupees felt much more valuable than those crores which can't even buy a simple joy to anyone. When I returned back, he wasn't around, 'may be he has gone to get that medicine', I told myself.
When I reached home, I felt a terrible sense of discomfort, what was I so uncomfortable about? For saying no to that man? may be, I shouldn't have said no to him. But he is the same man I gave 200 rupees without him even asking for it during Diwali. So why did I say no to 20 rupees? The very next moment I decided to undo my action. I went down. He wasn't expecting me, I thought. 'Take this'... I gave him 20 rupees. "I'll return it tomorrow" he said. Why? Please don't embarrass me further... "no need, it's okay" I said and rushed out of the gate.
What must be his reason to ask for mere 20 rupees? Deep down I started feeling the pain... but the pain wasn't mine, it was his. What a 50 year old man must be feeling when he asks for 20 rupees from a stranger like me. Now I have nothing to do with what he wants to do with that money or whether he asked for 20 rupees from other 10 people or not, the question I had in my mind was about the pride. Everyone has it except the politicians may be... so what about his? What kind of a situation prompts a person like him.. who has a job... to ask for such a small amount? It depressed me more when I started thinking about him.
Is poverty such a difficult thing to wipe out? I guess not. Then why do some have so much that they don't even know how much they have and some have none? Karma theory is the easiest way out of such tricky questions. It's their Karma. End of story. What about our Karma then? Are we doing some great deeds by ignoring poverty? Many a times I see a long queue outside a temple... especially Siddhivinayak on Tuesday. Everyone wants to be rich and famous. Nothing wrong with it but no one knows what will make them that. The SiddhiVinayak Trust which is run by some politicians is super rich for sure. During Ganpati festival crores of rupees get transacted in a small lane in Lalbaug alone, crores are spent on meaningless movies every year... how many movies in bollywood really do business? 8,9 maximum in a year? what about the rest of them? Around 300 movies per year are commercially flop, but then the same guys are making them all over again... who finances such filth and how can they finance it? Don't these super rich financiers have no business sense? Disgusting it is... but the truth is they are turning black into white by showing that as a loss. Strange but true. And what about elections which even after spending crores of public money produce no results? Every other scam you hear about is a few thousands... sometime even a few lakhs ... crores of rupees...so much money is flowing around and here I have someone asking for 20 rupees? How cruel is that? How bloody unfair?
I decided not to think that he'll use it for some wrong purpose [ again who am I to judge that anyway? ] but may be he needed it to buy a medicine for himself and that very moment my 20 rupees felt much more valuable than those crores which can't even buy a simple joy to anyone. When I returned back, he wasn't around, 'may be he has gone to get that medicine', I told myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment