KANDE POHE

I love Kande Pohe... so? what's so great about it? What an average Maharashtrian man [most of them are pretty average by birth... average height, average looks] loves besides cricket, politics, politics in cricket and wife... his own, as loving someone else's is quite taxing for his wallet, however, there is always an attempt to rise above the average in that department... is KANDE POHE. But I still can say I love Kande Pohe with a greater emphasis on 'love'. I can eat them 8 days a week, however, my official record [recorded in my notebook] is 5 days a week.

I can... I have, eaten it in various avtaars, once even without the onion in it. Who says there has to be Kanda in kande pohe? The recent version I had was in Barista at Shivaji Park. Yes, you read it right... a Cafe is serving them. Cappuccino with Kande Pohe, and Mr Pawar had a problem with Sonia's Italian roots, huh! However, the conspiracy theory [we love conspiracy theories] is very clear. They the outsiders, are trying their level best to make the average Marathi manoos, the son of the soil, the ever suppressed and at times depressed specie of mankind, hate his own staple diet. And do I fear, with the able help of capsicum in it, a strong possibility of the cafe's success in the near future? Well... time, as always, is the best to answer this.

Eating any Marathi cuisine by default is a difficult task. There is always a high level of risk involved. Unless you are eating it at home and the maker is in a particularly good mood. It is difficult not because the recipe is complex in nature but it is the very nature of us Maharashtrians that makes things complex.

Try eating Kande Pohe at Aswaad or Prakash or any local eatery around Bombay... oops Mumbai.

To begin with, you'll be treated as a guest. The unwanted one, the one who lands at your doorstep when you are about to step out for a movie. If there is a table available, mostly it is never available, not only because the place is in a great demand but purely because the owner never bothered to put additional tables or re arrange the space in the last 66 years of it's proud existence, because he believes that the family planning commission has done phenomenally well and therefore is convinced that the population of the city is frozen to the same number when his grand father opened the restaurant 66 years back.

So... we were trying to get a table for you, if you are the lucky one you'll get one after waiting for 4 minutes 22 seconds. A table which you will have to, without an exception, share with a total stranger. Walk into any Marathi restaurant, this will never change. I have tried to eat my favourite dish with coughing, sneezing and even burping companions... and if you are sitting next to a wash basin then along with the untimely refreshing sprinkle you may hear the clearing of a human throat and if luck has it against you, even nose. The blowing sound can tell you a lot about that person, but that requires a separate blog.

Once you are settled, do not take it for granted that you'll be served your beloved kande pohe. As most of the time there are things written on the menu card to fill up the space on the card, while printing we always go with the most economic A4 size. So while we have a few things written in there, we may not be serving them all through the day, if you want it, the key is to be there on the right day, at the right time. Every moment counts.

I guess, now you know what I meant by a risk involved. If you could manage to get a table, attention from the super busy waiter and survive all the sound effects you can still love what's served in a dish that's most suitable for a 7 year old to eat from. This is an example of putting the customer before anything, even the profits. With an extra small plate and a quantity to match the size of the plate, there is a great concern shown about the health of the eater. Less you eat the better it is for your health and the health of your bank balance, both. And if you ask for another round of the same, you may get a very polite 'it's over' as an answer. But that 'it's over' has, 'do you want to finish everything by yourself or you care if others get to eat it too' not so beautifully hidden in it. Subtlety, was never our strength anyway. I have even witnessed a great example of prompt service when I was presented the bill while I was still eating my food. Nowhere in the world you'll be served with such sense of urgency. Whoever said we are a bunch of lazy people don't really understand us and we don't care about such people. It's our 'carefree' attitude that has got us so far, so where is the need to change it? Just the way there is no need to change the furniture in the restaurant. We ignore the 'rest' bit from the word restaurant, cause we strongly believe, home [your own] is where you rest and you can't be resting while eating for sure. Again a great emphasis on detail and human behaviour.

Now do you think the Baristas of the world can ever match this level of customer service with their Capsicum infested Kande Pohe? So what if they give you your space, your table and chair and a great ambiance to enjoy your food? serve you with a smile and don't present your bill unless asked for it? We are determined not to budge, not to give away our own culture and ways of treating our customers which has become our culture. WE WILL NOT CHANGE! And tomorrow, in some distant future, if we really feel threatened, we will do what we do the best... get onto the streets. Till then enjoy your Kande Pohe, while I need to really blow my nose hard. Bye.